Sunday as the day wore on, I began to dread the night. I knew that I had to leave those precious little faces at Casa de Esparanza. So I enjoyed myself; playing games, holding children, and of course jumping on the trampoline. I had a joyous day with the children. I almost forgot that I my departure was approaching the next morning.
Movie time was over and the kids scattered to the room. I sat in the kitchen with Ashley. And while she was talking, I was trying to build up the strength to say farewell to those little hearts. Finally, I just went. First to the boys’ room, Fernando gave me a long lingering hug and kept asking “why?” Bryan and Fito both skipped that, and asked me when I was coming back, following the question by jumping into my arms and offering bear hugs. I made it through one room, but the most difficult was yet to come.
I entered the girls’ room, my heart beating fast. I began to tell each one good-bye, purposely saving one for last. Katty simply said “no” when I said I was leaving. Cindy crawled into my arms and I held her awhile. I could see she was distraught by my upcoming leave. I felt such delight in the relationship I had formed with Cindy on this trip, and I was disheartened to walk away now. After telling each girl just how much I loved them, I crawled into Daniela’s bed. “Papi! You sleep in my bed tonight.” How could I say no? I put my arm around her she slid in close and kissed my cheek. I don’t know whether she didn’t understand or whether she refused to understand that I was leaving in the morning. Either way, we whispered, giggled and cuddled for at least an hour. She loved playing with my hand, and intertwining her little brown fingers with my large white ones.
I laid in there and attempted to get the girls to go to sleep. It was hard to be stern when I wanted to stay up and whisper and play with them. I knew my time was short now. Daniela was being a little loud at times, but I just was too soft to scold her at this time.
Her eyes began to get heavy and they would close every once in a while. But bless her heart, she fought it; for every last minute she could spend with me. It broke me. I am glad it was dark and she could not see the weakness streaming from my eyes and down my cheek. I sobbed for my little princess.
She grabbed my arm, wrapped it around her and rolled over. She was about ready to fall asleep but she wanted the comfort of me around her. As my hand rested on her little chest, I could feel her little heart beat in my hand. Although, I am certain it is she who holds my heart in her hand. I lay there beside myself, wondering how I would ever be ready to leave the little girl who has captivated my heart.
She fell asleep; arm around my neck. I just watched her sleep through watery eyes for the next half hour. She was so beautiful, and my heart ached to not see her everyday. Soon the tears blocked my vision; I put her arm around her blanket and slid out of the bed. I sat on the back porch and wept for her and all the children until my eyes were swollen.
The next morning they all wished me happy birthday, but after the fun it was time to leave. “Adios” they would say. “No es adios” (It’s not good-bye) I would snap back. It’s “Hasta Luego” (see you later) God willing, I will see those kids again. I don’t think I can handle to not.
Movie time was over and the kids scattered to the room. I sat in the kitchen with Ashley. And while she was talking, I was trying to build up the strength to say farewell to those little hearts. Finally, I just went. First to the boys’ room, Fernando gave me a long lingering hug and kept asking “why?” Bryan and Fito both skipped that, and asked me when I was coming back, following the question by jumping into my arms and offering bear hugs. I made it through one room, but the most difficult was yet to come.
I entered the girls’ room, my heart beating fast. I began to tell each one good-bye, purposely saving one for last. Katty simply said “no” when I said I was leaving. Cindy crawled into my arms and I held her awhile. I could see she was distraught by my upcoming leave. I felt such delight in the relationship I had formed with Cindy on this trip, and I was disheartened to walk away now. After telling each girl just how much I loved them, I crawled into Daniela’s bed. “Papi! You sleep in my bed tonight.” How could I say no? I put my arm around her she slid in close and kissed my cheek. I don’t know whether she didn’t understand or whether she refused to understand that I was leaving in the morning. Either way, we whispered, giggled and cuddled for at least an hour. She loved playing with my hand, and intertwining her little brown fingers with my large white ones.
I laid in there and attempted to get the girls to go to sleep. It was hard to be stern when I wanted to stay up and whisper and play with them. I knew my time was short now. Daniela was being a little loud at times, but I just was too soft to scold her at this time.
Her eyes began to get heavy and they would close every once in a while. But bless her heart, she fought it; for every last minute she could spend with me. It broke me. I am glad it was dark and she could not see the weakness streaming from my eyes and down my cheek. I sobbed for my little princess.
She grabbed my arm, wrapped it around her and rolled over. She was about ready to fall asleep but she wanted the comfort of me around her. As my hand rested on her little chest, I could feel her little heart beat in my hand. Although, I am certain it is she who holds my heart in her hand. I lay there beside myself, wondering how I would ever be ready to leave the little girl who has captivated my heart.
She fell asleep; arm around my neck. I just watched her sleep through watery eyes for the next half hour. She was so beautiful, and my heart ached to not see her everyday. Soon the tears blocked my vision; I put her arm around her blanket and slid out of the bed. I sat on the back porch and wept for her and all the children until my eyes were swollen.
The next morning they all wished me happy birthday, but after the fun it was time to leave. “Adios” they would say. “No es adios” (It’s not good-bye) I would snap back. It’s “Hasta Luego” (see you later) God willing, I will see those kids again. I don’t think I can handle to not.
1 comment:
The children have been blessed by knowing you. You are a part of them. It is definitely easy loving these children. It is always so difficult leaving. My heart aches for you and the children, especially Daniela. I'm sure you will return. I'm ready to jump on a plane and go for a visit.
Post a Comment